I always ask myself this. How did I get on the wrong side of a love song? I mean look at me. I’m beautiful, educated, no kids. What’s wrong? Every time I put myself out there I get smacked in the face. There was one time, *sighs*, I just knew it was going to work out. This man was my soul mate. Everything about him worked. He was handsome, funny, intelligent, respectful…he was everything. He was my best friend. Seriously, we were best friends before we became lovers. This man had a power over me like no other. Yes, we were young but I was ready to go to the ends of the Earth for him. Whatever he needed, whatever he wanted I was right there ready to provide. And he was the same with me. So why am I standing here now…heart broken? *laughs*
Well,, like I said we were young. After 2 years, we decided to just be friends. Well, he really decided. I just agreed knowing that he would eventually come back. 6 years later and I’m still here. Waiting. My friends are always telling me to move on, but how can I? I talk to this man damn near every day. My stomach still drops when I see his face on my Twitter page. Now he’s talking about becoming serious with another woman. Like a best friend, I listen, but inside I cringe. You want to start a family? God please! Don’t do this to me. I’m a good person. I deserve this man. I deserve to cook him dinner every night. I deserve to rub his back after a long day of work. I deserve to make him call to the Heavens while we make love. I deserve him. This is why love is bullshit. What am I suppose to do when my heart refuses to leave? How can I get over what my mind refuses to let go? The late night conversations, the laughs, the hugs. God, I can’t take this. But I have no choice. You can’t force someone else to feel the same way as you. I can do nothing but hope and pray. Pray that he opens his eyes and realizes what’s standing right in front of him. Or hope love comes back by my way.