So…let’s dive right into it. Cheating. The ultimate deal breaker. The big no no! Right…or wrong? I started thinking about this post while I was being pursued by a guy who had a girlfriend. I wondered if he felt like he was doing anything wrong or if he even cared. So I began to ask him, and several others, questions. The main one was have you cheated and why. Here were the answers in a summary. Most guys cheated because:
1) It’s available.
2) It’s exciting.
3) The sex with their current mate was old and boring.
4.) They weren’t ready to be in a committed relationship.
Now for women it was pretty simple. Most cheated because of revenge or they were bored in their relationship as well.
With the women I found it quite interesting that revenge was the number one answer for most. My revenge for a man cheating on me is to dump him at dinner and leave him with a high ass bill. Is this the case of “you did me wrong so I want you to know how it feels?” I would say yes, but most of the women don’t tell their man they have cheated. Instead they cheat on the side while continue the relationship with their boyfriend. Strange.
I also found it strange that men cheated mainly because it is accessible. This is ridiculous. If this is the case, then why are you in a committed relationship? I have no qualms with anyone spreading their royal oats around town, as long as you are using protection, but if you feel that way then you have no business being in a relationship. It’s that simple.
The one I had the hardest time dealing with was the “sex got boring” story. In this case, one of the guys told me that he was madly in love with his girl and had been with her for several years. He had no intentions on spending the rest of his life with anyone else but her, but the sex was old. He was tired of coming home to the same thing every night. Now, I’m sure you all will say just spice it up. But is it that simple? I have never been with anyone for more than two years and I wasn’t even in love with that person. I couldn’t imagine being madly in love with someone but when it came down to the bedroom it just wasn’t there. Was this even possible? A part of me says no because if you have a passion for someone then that bedroom is gonna be on fire no matter how long you have been together. Could that be why people cheat?
People are so quick to jump in a relationship just for the sake of being in one or settle for that guy you’ve been talking to for the last ten years because, hey why not? But what if there is no real passion behind it. I’m not talking about the honey moon stage, I mean real soul changing passion. This is the one thing I do know about. People wonder why it’s been 10 years for me, well that’s how passion is. It doesn’t just go away because of situations or circumstances. When your heart latches on to someone and you have an undying passion for them, that doesn’t just go away. When you bring up romance nowadays, people laugh at it or think you are being soft. But this shouldn’t be the case. This is why people have 90 year marriages and have not stepped out on their partner or even had the thought come to mind. You may see something that you like, but when that person comes in to your head, your whole thought switches. You whole being changes and all you can think about is that person. This is why cheating is so normal now. No one gets what real passion is. It’s not just something they do in the movies people, it happens in real life.
With that being said, just because it is normal doesn’t make it right. Cheating hurts and for me it is quite unnecessary. If you are feeling a certain way in your relationship then talk to that person about it. Or just leave. Yes, I know it’s not that simple to just leave. But really…it is. Why torture someone and put them through that heartache? Is that easier? Instead of cheating, just become single and do whatever you want. But like I said, its a new day and age. And with cheating not being the number one deal breaker anymore, it is becoming more of a frequent action. So should we blame the cheater for being a lustful devil? Or should we blame society for not teaching us more about passion and making cheating a normal, passive thing?